The next morning, I arrived at school and headed to the media room. The room was very somber. The district sent in a crisis team. I listened attentively as to what my role as a teacher is and how I can assist. We learned that the media center would be a place for students to come and process in their own way with the assistance of an amazing amount of resources (social workers, psychologists, mental heatlth professionals). The staff was informed if they needed time to process we had 2 subs in the building ready to take over our class at a moments notice as well as several other certified staff members that could step in. We were told that we would be postponing state testing for at least the day. We were advised that because the parents were notified we did not need to discuss in our classroom if we did not feel comfortable. I knew my 5th graders would have questions, especially since they were not testing. Again, I had the full support of my district. If I did not feel comfortable talking with my class they would step in and discuss.
I headed to my classroom. As I walked through the halls I heard students saying "He's dead!" "He died of a heart attack!" "No, I heard he died in a car accident!" I knew a conversation was in order. My students came in.....quiet. I asked them if they knew why we were not testing and every single one of them knew. Thankfully, I have wonderful parents who all spoke with their children the night before about what happened. We discussed it briefly, I let them know their options should they need help to process, and then we moved on with our day. I have a very chatty class this year but I was never so impressed by their respect for our wonderful social worker, and their lack of "antics" throughout the day. My class worked, stayed focus, and were kind to one another......my heart was full seeing my students show so much compassion.
The staff I work with was amazing too. All of us were constantly checking in on one another, on each other's students, and providing hugs and kleenex when needed. I dropped off crayons and my fun tub of crafts in the media room for any kiddos who wanted to express their thoughts in a card for the family.
It was at the end of the day that I realized I am truly blessed. I am truly FORTUNATE to be where I am in life. I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we cannot see the reason. I picked this job over another and made a last minute decision because in my gut I knew it was right. The district I work for, the staff I work with, the students I teach, and the parents that support me are all the reason why I ended up in 5th grade at Neubert. Sometimes we take life for granted. We don't do it on purpose but it is moments like these that ground me, bring me back to what is important in life. I was blessed to have my social worker in my life. He not only helped my kiddos that were struggling he help me, help those students. He will be greatly missed!
